Mr. Excitement's Thursday in Vegas

Not sure how you spent your Thursday, but I had the day off and I couldn't bear to sit around the apartment. If I did, I'd have to pick up the trash or do laundry. This will not stand. So I went out.



L&L Hawaiian BBQ. This was at the location on Maryland Parkway at Flamingo, but there are others all over Vegas. I've been there many times but I only buy one thing...the Chicken Katsu. It was the same thing I bought when I first went there, and I liked it so much it's the only thing I order. This is actually the half order, and it's currently $4.75. The full order, twice this much food, is like $6.50...but I wouldn't dare. What you can't see is the huge bed of rice and the macaroni salad, which is the best I've ever eaten. The Diet Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper ($1.39) is not part of the meal...I imported it from the Terrible's Car Wash next door. They have fountain drinks, but I don't want to drink Diet Pepsi if I can avoid it.



The Clark County Library (Flamingo, near Maryland Parkway), my former home away from home. They offer free internet access and wi-fi, have a huge DVD selection, and they even show free movies a few times a week and have plays and musicians in their full-size theater. But of course I owe them like $56 in fines now, so I don't get over there much any more.



Hey, it's the 202 bus! One of them newer ultra-classy "deuce" buses, this one crosses the strip and goes waaaaay up there to Buffalo or so. The deuce buses are the same ones that they use on the strip, and if you get on early enough you can get the best seat, right above the driver on the top level. This time I was lucky.



From the top level, you almost get a view of Sexxpresso, the sexually-oriented coffee business on Flamingo. My camera caught a view of a dead tree and little else and we had passed it by the time I had a clearer view of the place. I'm sure glad I wasn't responsible for holding Abraham Zapruder's camera or they would have never gotten anything on film.



The Key Largo Casino. It's been closed for about two years now. I'm shocked that they haven't torn it down yet...it was sold and they immediately announced it was going to be a parking lot. It's a rare instance when an empty building is allowed to stand in Las Vegas without being destroyed. Note the security fence. Not shown is the grafitti put on the sides by bored teenage punks.



Last year they knocked down the Bourbon Street Casino, which no one misses or even remembers. In the lot next to it (across the street from Bally's on Flamingo) is this store, which had an odd sign boasting WE HAVE 22 YEARS LEFT ON OUR LEASE - WE'RE HERE TO SERVE YOU. Look, you're fooling no one. I've been in this store. It's an absolute dump and a tourist trap. I wouldn't make any long-term promises if I were them.



The view from atop the walking bridge over Flamingo at Caesars Palace. In the distance you can see the Rio and the Palms...or would, if my camera wasn't crap.



Looking straight up (right after taking the previous photo), it's Caesars Palace! I'm huge! With the implosion of the New Frontier last year, it's now the 4th oldest property on the strip...maybe. Note the power lines directly overhead. Between these and the cell phone, it's tumors ahoy!



The so-called "dancing" fountains at the Bellagio, which looked to me like the lazy, do-nothing fountains at the Bellagio. A lot of people were standing and waiting for them to do something, but apparently they were on break. Stupid union fountains.



A good shot of the fake Eiffel tower at the Paris. The light was hitting it just right and it was fantastic. Again, if I had any kind of real camera, this would have been an award-winning shot. I have to make sure to get all my shots in before dark...the camera on the phone is so weak (and no flash) you really can't take any recognizable shots at night.



The ballooney Paris sign. Vegas had a pretty badass windstorm last night (the Arby's I work at actually had half our drive-thru menu board blow away), and it seems to have taken out part of the Paris sign. This will probably cost millions of dollars and take years to fix. It's just the way things are in Las Vegas.



Guy smoking crack in front of the Excalibur. I walked past him and he was lighting the pipe.



Same crack smokin' guy, different angle. I tried not to be too obvious with my photography because these people will cut you. They're freaked-out maniacs, I tell you.



The Statue of Liberty at New York, New York. Las Vegas Blvd. and Tropicana. During the NBA All-Star Game last year, the casino fashioned a very large "East" jersey for Lady Liberty to wear.



How's this for irony? These people are taking pictures of a just-married couple in a carriage at the Excalibur, and I'm taking pictures of them. Aha! Turning the tables on the paparazzi, that's how I roll. I'm different that way.



The bridge over Las Vegas Blvd. from the Excalibur to the Tropicana. Note the seated homeless person staking the place out. I noticed at least one on every bridge I crossed, each using a cardboard hard-luck sign to hit people up for cash.



Ever wonder what happens to that hand-out porn that gets shoved at you by the non-English speaking folk on the strip? Check the fountain at the Trop for the answer.



And finally, a not-bad shot of New York, New York from the Tropicana. I noticed the roller coaster was still running even though it's like, 48 degrees. Fools!

Not shown: the sign for Hats! The Musical!, which I thought was a joke. But it's apparently playing at Harrah's. Now, if this doesn't sound like enough of a nightmare already, consider that it contains original music composed by Melissa Manchester, Pam Tillis, and (wait for it) Kathie Lee Gifford. I shan't be purchasing tickets!