When you go to Sam's Town on Boulder Highway and walk to the back, next to the so-called "food court" you are confronted with an indoor artifical wilderness...complete with bad waterfalls and at least one less-than-convincing animatronic critter, shown here.
I was starving, but I saw no point in going to any of Sam's Town's food court choices. McDonald's? Nope. Panda Express? I'll have none of it (PE, by the way, is apparently wholly owned by McDonald's). Sbarro? Ew. I worked at a Sbarro in Saint Paul, Minnesota for three years, and I always referred to it as McPizza (even though it's a separate company). If McDonald's did make pizza, it would turn out a lot like this...fast, hot, and completely flavorless.
Anyway, I was in a hurry and couldn't eat here if I wanted. I'm not even sure why I came in, but I'm glad I did. The bad animatronics on the deer made the short trip worth it. Its body is completely stationary, but its tail seems to move and its head moves to three or four positions, one a creepy dead-on stare.
At one point I thought it stared just a little too long, and I was ready to jump in there and kick its sub-Disney ass. The whole thing reminded me of the Park at the Mall of America (formerly Camp Snoopy) for some reason. Maybe it's just that there's not a whole lot of different ways to go with indoor rain forests.
I found my way out, past the old people strapped to oxygen tanks gambling away their life savings at the slots. Outside I waited for the Nellis bus while locals drinking from a 12-pack of Milwaukee's Best argued over which cheap, evil-smelling beer tasted best.
I decided that Del Taco and the Macho Nachos would be my best lunch purchase, since I was headed that way anyway. No photos, I was too busy shoving them into my fat face.
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